THIS IS A WOMEN’S WORLD
One thing I really wasn’t ready for was the power and intensity of labor. You can read about it, you can listen to it, you can even see it, but you will never understand until it happens to you. After walking through the months of pregnancy with several difficulties like back pain, swelling, mood swings, and sleep disorders, this wild river of delivery that you’re thrown into is so overwhelming, that several times you catch yourself thinking you might not make it to the other shore... And then, at your lowest point, an empowering thought comes deep from within: you will make it, together with your baby, for the sake of both of you, no matter what. And this now becomes your new mantra, the most powerful in the world. And it gives you such energy, strength, and drive that suddenly you become a lioness, a goddess, the divine love of the universe coming down to earth. And then, a miracle happens. Gosh, the art of giving life to another human is such a crazy and blessed ability of a woman, and we are all capable and meant to do this — how awesome is that?
REVOLUTION IN THE KINGDOM, OR THE NEW KING HAS ARRIVED
Ok, now you’ve experienced one of the sacred moments of your life, you’ve seen each other for the very first time, said "Hi," hugged, and most likely fallen in love with each other. Time, at this moment, either stops completely, or flies by like in a time machine. Your honeymoon starts right away. I wouldn’t change those moments for the world. Very soon, you realize that you have to deliver the placenta too. Well, that’s nothing, we just delivered a baby here, right? What else are we capable of?
And so, during the fourth trimester, or the following 12 weeks, the newly expanded family gets accustomed to new conditions: Mama is still facing some discomfort within her healing body, baby is slowly discovering the vast and limitless world outside mommy’s warm womb, and dada is trying to figure out what has just happened. Your life now has completely new meaning, as everything reasonably has turned upside down. Oh, and the sleep... let’s just skip this painful part. Although I’ve heard that there are families who sleep well with their babies even after the first couple of weeks, and sometimes I think: are they even real? Haha! And sometimes, you catch yourself thinking of how proud you will feel at your son’s or daughter’s prom, and a tear falls as you realize how quickly the time will pass.
Mommy, of course, nobody said that your emotional world would be stable by now. In my opinion, it will never be the same again, because you’ve recently switched to the mode of endless care and devotion for someone you’ve created, who so sweetly depends on his or her parents. And yes, I know, you may have some minor difficulties concentrating or remembering things that weren’t a problem before. That’s called "mommy brain." It will pass. With time. But love is in the air, and your guests say that your home has a sweet smell of milk—how cute is that? And your biggest contentment is watching your baby grow and evolve day by day, which fuels you.
THE POWER OF EXPERIENCE
Here, I’ll leave a few of my tips that seemed really valuable and worked best for me. If you find them useful, it’s my pleasure:
Journal your feelings and thoughts throughout pregnancy. It will be so interesting and valuable to read later.
I really suggest preparing for labor purposely. And by that, I mean that the old slogan "pregnancy is the legit time to eat for two..." is outdated. The main milestones should probably focus on balancing food/activities/mindset.
I prioritized and invested money in carefully choosing my caregivers and in things and processes that promoted my and my baby’s well-being, over fancy strollers and cute clothes. That was my second priority. ;)
When you’re all home with a baby, please be gentle and sweet not only to your baby, but to yourself too, especially at the beginning. Sleep when the baby sleeps (if possible), take it slow—the world will wait. This is not the time for a polished home or forced social activities. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I arranged a walk or something similar to reset myself.
And please remember, that your guests are your choice and your home is under your conditions. You are a mama bear now, remember? You really don’t need to please everybody.
What are your recommendations based on your experience? Would you like to write them down under this article? I will answer.
Love,
Your penfriend, Agnese
