Unfiltered parenting stories

WAIT, A LOT OF US HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD.
There is that precious, fleeting time with your newborn, and before you know it, you are pregnant again. And just like that, your oldest baby is now a toddler or even older. That’s when a new game begins. The rollercoaster of morning sickness, mood swings, and all the other “gifts” kicks in again. But this time, it hits differently – you are now responsible not only for holding yourself together but also for managing the millions of wants and needs of your little mini-me daily. And let’s be honest, it can get tough. I adored and hated those months, sometimes simultaneously.

Anyone with small children quickly realizes that your mug is no longer your own. Neither is that half-bitten treat you were saving for later. Even going to the bathroom becomes an event – a tiny human is sitting next to you, watching your every move like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. Well, it’s kind of fun, and you do feel loved. But for four out of my five pregnancies, I lived in this reality, with these circumstances only growing – partly due to the fact that I chose to keep my kids at home instead of sending them to kindergarten. So, my biggest challenge was to balance it all without losing myself and my mental well-being in between all my children and their wants and needs, the household, and the everyday chores – which, as we all know, is a lot.
And let’s be real – we all need a break sometimes. It’s not just a want, it’s a necessity.

AND I LOST…

I found myself stuck in a never-ending loop of responsibilities. And when homeschooling and after-school activities began, my schedule became even tighter. Looking back, I’m almost certain I burned out multiple times. There were periods when I was too irritable, and I was not proud of how I treated my family. And it wasn’t just me. Even my husband, who has always been incredibly supportive, at times failed me and the kids in ways he never wanted to. We simply didn’t realize our cups were already overflowing. We had no clue that ignoring the early warning signs would lead to severe ones. Little did we know how something as simple as a shower, a walk, a chat with a friend, or even a quick solo break, if taken soon enough, could completely reset us. So, by putting in regular, small, consistent efforts to recharge, we don’t have to hit rock bottom.
But I was too much of a perfectionist, remember? So, there were times when one of us had to be the strong one while the other fell apart. And that kind of dynamic? It’s neither enjoyable nor sustainable.

BUT HERE’S WHAT WE WON INSTEAD.
We started searching for help. We tried different things, and the most valuable lesson we learned was this: the real strength lies in being able to ask for help. Just that simple. Without shame. Just acknowledging that, for once, you cannot handle everything on your own is a game-changer.

I really love my family to the moon and back. I give them my time, attention, and energy as much as I want and as much as I feel is needed. But I honestly don’t believe that completely draining myself for others will make anyone – including me – happier. Quite the opposite: the more drained I am, the worse I feel, and the more alert my children become. Because at this stage, their well-being depends on me.
It’s like that famous saying: Put on your own oxygen mask first before trying to help others.

And so this is exactly what I’ve been doing for some time now. I check in with myself regularly, and if I sense something is off, I act fast. I actually feel it is my responsibility – not just for me, but for my family and those around me. If I let myself spiral or create drama, everybody else will be affected by my exhaustion. And that is not fair to anyone. The next one on my checklist is my husband. Because let’s be honest – men love to plan, build, fix, and accomplish things. What they don’t love is turning inward and admitting they need a break. But they need it just as much as we do.

A FEW SMALL TIPS FROM ME – IF THEY APPLY, I HOPE THEY HELP:

• If you feel constantly low on energy, start disliking your life, and this feeling lingers for weeks without fading, please consider seeking help. It could mean a mineral deficiency, emotional exhaustion, or both. Either way, don’t leave it unattended – especially when you have small children around you at home – your inspiration for life.
• If you are going through an intense phase in your life, please check in with your feelings not just during it, but afterwards as well. Otherwise, you might miss important signals.

Love,
Your penfriend, Agnese